Loree:

I really appreciate you taking the time to talk with me about leadership. I know you are writing a book. So maybe this can serve as a teaser as well for some of the things that you may be covering in the book. So actually, I mean, if you don’t mind, I’d love to start out by hearing more about the book that you’re writing. What inspired you to write it?

 

Tom:

Well, first of all, thank you for those very fun comments. So you remain in the world. So thank you. Thank you, and the fact that I was any kind of an example for the great leader that you’ve become is truly touching and means so very, very much to me.

It was a situation where I see all of these stories, some of which are even true, that are in my memory. And they all seem to have kind of a theme. And the theme is you learn by your mistakes… occasionally, your successes, but I want to be able to pass those on to my children and to my grandchildren. And rather than, you know, sit by the fireside and listen to an old guy doddering on, I thought, well, my goddaughter who has helped a number of people with books, volunteered to assist me. So what we do is once a week I usually go down to Sarasota and sit with her for a couple of hours. And she would record the various stories that kind of the key points that I wanted to make. And now of course with the Coronavirus, we do this by Google Chat. And she’s kind of piecing it together. I’m providing if you will kind of like mosaic of little stories throw it and then we’ll get the connecting part to it or figure out what should be the kind of duty for it chronologically or by duty assignment or by lesson learned or whatever. And a subset of this may be a book on leadership that I would like to write also. And just mainly the things that I learned the hard way, that I would like folks out there who would find it of interest to learn the easy way. And that’s what I try to impart to my students in class. So I have lots of mistakes that I’ve made, here’s what I’ve learned from them. Here’s what I hope that you will learn. So that’s kind of the basis for the book, and it seems to be coming along. And I feel so blessed that my memory is still good that I can remember… you know, someone will say a word or a name, and it all kind of comes back… maybe not the exact date, but at least you know, the context and the conversation and what the lesson or point was from that particular experience. So it’s really been fun to take a trip down memory lane and hope that others will= like to come with me.

 

Loree:

That’s awesome. When you’re talking about what a good memory you have, I just have so many fond memories of growing up and going to the Marine Corps exchange. And we could never go to a Marine Corps exchange without you running into someone that you remembered and that you would want to stop and talk with and you know, catch up and say, ‘Hello.’ These were the days before Facebook so every time we’d go to the Marine Corps exchange, I always felt like we had to build in an extra half hour because dad was probably gonna run into somebody. And I want to you know… you were always just so generous your time and sharing the things that you remembered about them and the impact that they had on you, too.

 

Tom:

So one of the beauties of the Marine Corps is it’s small, so we, for the most part, really know each other. I used to say that I could meet any marine and within 30 seconds to one minute, have a mutual acquaintance. His drill instructor or his platoon sergeant or his office or whatever. And the disadvantage of being so small is that if you’re a jerk, everybody knows you’re a jerk, and it’s kind of hard to hide. So yeah, pros and cons of being a small service.

 

Loree:

That’s funny. It’s like the six degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon, who actually was a marine the movie A Few Good Men.

 

Tom:

It was two movies. He’s also in Taking Chance.

 

Loree:

Oh, my gosh, that’s right. Awesome.

So I would love to hear from when you were a child, when was the first time that you realized that you could influence other people to take action and show leadership?

 

Tom:

I want to say that from an early age I knew that I was a born leader… but that’s really not the case. I just you know, grew up in a fairly normal situation. I guess the first leadership opportunity was in first grade when I became the class president, at age six, I guess it was.

 

Loree:

Wow.

 

Tom:

Through the years, I was class president through, I believe all of grade school and all of high school. It’s just one of those things… why not? They thought we’ll go with Tom, you know, he’s not gonna hurt anything. You didn’t have term limits to worry about.

But one of the things that I learned is just, you know, it’s kind of fun to be class president; I used to be able to sit up in the teachers quarter, whatever. But then I also learned that being in a leadership position with that authority also came responsibility. And so I was expected as the class president to set an example. So other kids could be kids, but I was supposed to be an example. It just stayed with me that if you’re in a leadership position, you are an example; hopefully a good one, sometimes not… but you’re always being watched, you’re always being evaluated. If someone is always picking up from you, either good vibrations, bad vibrations, whatever the case may be. So that was kind of the early stages of leadership.

 

Loree:

That’s amazing. I hadn’t ever heard of class presidents in grade school. I think the earliest that they have them here are in middle school… and yet what a great opportunity for kids to start getting that experience and that responsibility at a very young age.

 

Tom:

It was just great and I know later we’ll get a chance to talk about this. But, you know, with the coaches, late teachers, all of them tremendous examples of leadership and character and integrity. So it was just, you know, to have a constant example out there was very reassuring as you’re growing up… this is what you’re supposed to be, this is what a man is, this is what a woman is, and it means, you know, taking responsibility for your actions and trying to do the right thing for the right reasons. And, oh, that sounds probably kind of pollyannish. That was kind of the example that we were expected to follow.

 

Loree:

Nice. So thinking back to you, you mentioned coaches, you mentioned the nuns that were your teachers. Could you share some of the people who were your biggest leadership influences, maybe two or three people from your childhood and growing up?

 

Tom:

One of them, strangely enough, was not one of my teachers. He was a lawyer. And this man the day after Pearl Harbor, closed up his law office and enlisted in the Marine Corps.

 

Loree:

Wow.